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FAKE NEWS (just seems like it could be true)

Monday, September 7, 2015

The 0-0 One Percenters Labor Day Picnic

Satirical News Service
The Hamptons, NY


A Group of the 0.01%’er’s sponsored at picnic today at the posh home of a hedge fund manager who wished to go unnamed. They were there to celebrate the “hard work and the American Dream that made them the rich men they are today.” It was catered by mostly immigrant, minority and women workers who were being paid less than minimum wage with no health benefits. Some complained how the current low bank interested rates were preventing them from getting a decent return on their investments to a young college student who had just parked their cars for minimum wages in order to pay off his exorbitant student loans.  After a few speeches about how illegal immigration is spoiling the American economy, they sat down to a meal that had been prepared and harvested by some of those same immigrants. They then went on to rail about Obamacare and the oppressive taxes in place now (of which they pay little), and the need to bring back traditional American values of hard work and sacrifice, while they continue to ship the jobs that enable that overseas. They then cracked jokes about how happy they were that Warren Buffet was not invited. All in all it was a good picnic. 

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