Satirical News Service
Austin, Texas
Austin, Texas
Texas Governor Perry today took immediate steps to prevent the
proliferation of unregistered clocks, after an honor student in Houston was
arrested after bringing a homemade clock to school. Governor Perry stood before
the state legislature and demanded that they immediately pass legislation that
would require background checks and a 10 day waiting period for anyone wanting
to purchase certain types of clocks.
“Right now anyone can simply walk into a department store
and purchase a clock without any background check. Kids can easily purchase the
materials to make their own home made clocks on the Internet without any
regulation to prevent this. “
Governor Perry also wants to stop the sales of certain types of clocks that are capable of displaying time in multiple time zones, and clocks that can store multiple alarms. Governor Perry said “Simply put, these types of clocks are just “time killers”.
One state senator who was moved by the governor’s speech said “We are dealing here with nothing less than a ticking clock.”
The NRA however came down solidly against this legislation saying it was just one step closer to the government taking away our guns. A spokesman for the NRA said, “It’s what we have said many times; the only way to stop a bad guy with a clock, is a good guy with a glock”.
Governor Perry also wants to stop the sales of certain types of clocks that are capable of displaying time in multiple time zones, and clocks that can store multiple alarms. Governor Perry said “Simply put, these types of clocks are just “time killers”.
One state senator who was moved by the governor’s speech said “We are dealing here with nothing less than a ticking clock.”
The NRA however came down solidly against this legislation saying it was just one step closer to the government taking away our guns. A spokesman for the NRA said, “It’s what we have said many times; the only way to stop a bad guy with a clock, is a good guy with a glock”.
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