Apple Drops Hints About the Iphone8 – It’s Going to Be the Phone for the Rest of Us!

Tim Cook, Apple CEO holding prototype of the iPhone8

Satirical News Service
Cupertino, CA

Just as Apple Inc. perches on the cusp of launching its new iPhone7 series, Tim Cook today gave us a clue of what was in store for us with the next iPhone, scheduled for release in about a year. In an exclusive interview with SNS, he stated,

 “The next iPhone will be transformative – It will quite literally be The phone for the rest of us!.   The new iPhone8 will do absolutely nothing! It will be this glass and metal sleek rectangular shape that fits in the palm of your hand. You’ll be able to hold it and stare at its shiny black screen, and be certain of the fact that you will be able to remain completely undisturbed from that experience. It will not ring, buzz – play music or videos - take pictures or movies,- play games, and most important of all it won’t disturb you with any form of communication other than the psychic bond you form with the sleek object in your hand. It is designed to not work with any network since it cannot send or receive any type of communication, so you won’t be tied into those expensive phone company contacts.”

"Before Steve Jobs died, he passed on his desire to make this a transformative phone. It is designed for people who don’t want to play games, chat with friends, sit around in restaurants texting, or walking down crowded streets talking on the phone. It is designed for busy executives who want to just be left alone and be inaccessible, and families that just want to have a meal together and actually speak to each other without a phone. Imagine friends getting together face-to-face with nothing to get in the way of real conversation except to marvel at the exquisite beautiful design of the iPhone8. It will give it's owners a truly Zen-like bonding experience with their iPhone."