United Airlines Announces New Passenger Configurations on Airplanes

New Passenger Configuration on United Airlines 737's

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

Shortly after United Airlines announced that they were changing their seating configuration on their 777’s to 10 across, they announced an entirely new passenger configuration for their workhorse 737’s. In a statement released by United Airlines they stated “We are eliminating the luggage compartment entirely. Instead we are turning the passenger section into a double-decker. To do this, passengers will no longer be able to sit, but will be placed supine on their back to completely fill the plane from front to back on two levels. Bathrooms will be removed and passengers once placed will not be able to move. Too accommodate the maximum number of passengers, this configuration will be done on two levels with only 24 inches of space between the levels. Passengers will be required to crawl to their assigned spaces. They will no longer be able to bring luggage except for a very small personal item bag. Spirt Airlines is also expected to adopt these same configurations and other airlines are sure to follow suit.