If George Washington acted like Donald Trump, here is how I would imagine the cherry tree episode would play……
GWF: Georgie! Come here this instant!
GW: Whaaaat! (Sounding belligerently)
GWF: My favorite cherry tree has been cut down! Do you know
who might have done such a loathsome act?
GW: First let me say, that’s an awful tree, ugly tree – really
bad dude! Never produced fruit! Make a yuge mess everywhere - Yuge! Leeches off
other plants! Terrible tree– shouldn’t even be in the garden! The idea that I
might have had anything to do with the so-called chopping down is ridiculous!
Its FAKE news perpetrated by my enemies to discredit me!
GWF: Georgie, several of my servants said they saw you run
out of the house with a hatchet cursing!
GW: Those are illegal aliens who are saying these things
about me simply to discredit me and as a ruse to stay in this country; really bad dudes, most of them rapists and drug dealers. Believe
me, when I grow up, I’m going to make Virginia a great colony again by building
a wall by keeping these people out – or maybe in!
GWF: So who DO you think cut down my cherry tree?
GW: I know for a FACT that it was the little Rodham girl Hillary
– bad girl – really bad! I say lock her up in her room for the rest of her
life!
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