Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Washington DC
After giving
his speech today in which he stated “America needs to start winning wars again”,
sources in the White House report that he wants to re-fight some of the battles we lost, starting with The
Alamo. It was hinted that the reason for the recent round-up of undocumented Mexicans is to offer them a choice of either re-fighting the Alamo or be
deported to Mexico. The ones that elect to re-fight will be outfitted with Napoleon
era uniforms and muskets, while the Texans will be composed of volunteers from local Militia groups’s who will bring their own guns.
It’s gonna be Yuge
tweeted Trump. When you Remember the Alamo this time it’ll be the Texans that win it. It’ll be the greatest
battle America ever fought.
It was also reported that the 7th Fleet
has been ordered to sail into Vietnamese waters with a full complement of
Marines and heavy armor. It is unclear exactly what their orders are, but
source close to Trump said, “It’s high time we settle some old scores!”.
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