Cave Rescuers Now Called upon to Rescue 2500 children trapped in “Detention Caves” in Texas

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

 After performing a near-miraculous feat of rescuing 12 boys and their coach from a flooded cave in Thailand, they may be called upon to perform an even harder feat of recusing nearly 2500 boys and girls, some under the age of 3, who are trapped in cave-like conditions in a detention center near the Texas-Mexican border. According to one of the SEAL rescue divers who was involved in the Thai cave rescue, “The obstacles involved in rescuing these youths in Texas are far more numerous. They are trapped in tiny cage-like rooms deep in an inaccessible part of the country. Even getting to them involves traversing miles of red tape and government intransigence compounded by constant floods of misinformation and outright lies by the NEWS and government officials. Even if we could reach them, getting them out might take months – even years.” Early pictures of the youth show them huddled together with only “space blankets” for warmth in the cave-like conditions inside the facility. How long they can survive there in those conditions is unknown.