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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Empty Chair Last Minute Replacement for Romney in Debate – FOX News declares CHAIR the Hands Down Winner.


Satirical News Service
Denver, CO

In a surprise last minute glitch, Mitt Romney became violently ill just hours before the scheduled first debate with Barack Obama. According to Romney “It must have been tainted meat from the taco I ate at yesterday’s Latino rally in Denver”.  Rather than cancel the debate, it was agreed that the infamous CHAIR, used by Clint Eastwood at the RNC Convention, would substitute for Mitt Romney. The debate came off without any further hitches and FOX news declared  the CHAIR (Mitt Romney) as the hands-down winner.
Here is an excerpt from FOX news’s Commentary between FOX news’ Eric Bolling and Gretchen Carlson

Bolling – I felt that CHAIR did a great job in the debate. It stood erect without wavering, and portrayed the silent steady demeanor that America wants in their president.

Carlson – Yes in contrast to President Obama who insisted on always answering the questions posed to him.

Bolling – I especially like how CHAIR caught Obama off guard when asked about what he would do about the economy. Obama went on and on quoting specific things he would do next term, while CHAIR remained silent, and immobile – just like what Mitt Romney will do as president. I think the audience really liked that.

Carlson – Yes and CHAIR did get in one Zinger. When Obama started going on about how Romney only cared about 1% of Americans, CHAIR came back with “At least I only want to screw 47% of Americans”.

Bolling – Yes! What a great Zinger! You could see the audience liked that one.

Carlson – What does the FOX News poll show after the debate?

Bolling – According to our latest FOX news poll, only 2% of the people think that Obama won the debate while 98% of our viewers said CHAIR won.

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