Satirical News Service
Denver, CO
Denver, CO
In a surprise last minute glitch, Mitt Romney became violently
ill just hours before the scheduled first debate with Barack Obama. According
to Romney “It must have been tainted meat
from the taco I ate at yesterday’s Latino rally in Denver”. Rather than cancel the debate, it was agreed that
the infamous CHAIR, used by Clint
Eastwood at the RNC Convention, would substitute for Mitt Romney. The debate
came off without any further hitches and FOX news declared the CHAIR (Mitt
Romney) as the hands-down winner.
Here is an excerpt from FOX news’s Commentary between FOX
news’ Eric Bolling and Gretchen Carlson
Bolling – I felt that CHAIR did a great job in the debate.
It stood erect without wavering, and portrayed the silent steady demeanor that
America wants in their president.
Carlson – Yes in contrast to President Obama who insisted on
always answering the questions posed to him.
Bolling – I especially like how CHAIR caught Obama off guard
when asked about what he would do about the economy. Obama went on and on quoting
specific things he would do next term, while CHAIR remained silent, and
immobile – just like what Mitt Romney will do as president. I think the
audience really liked that.
Carlson – Yes and CHAIR did get in one Zinger. When Obama
started going on about how Romney only cared about 1% of Americans, CHAIR came
back with “At least I only want to screw 47% of Americans”.
Bolling – Yes! What a great Zinger! You could see the
audience liked that one.
Carlson – What does the FOX News poll show after the debate?
Bolling – According to our latest FOX news poll, only 2% of
the people think that Obama won the debate while 98% of our viewers said CHAIR
won.
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