Satirical News Service
Atlanta, GA
The CDC today has raised concerns over massive outbreaks
of severe nausea in several parts of the country – most notably on Ohio,
Colorado, Florida, Virginia and North Carolina. According to CDC officials, they
started seeing a cluster of cases in Florida, then North Carolina, then
Colorado and now in Ohio. The Ohio cases appear to be especially severe and
growing in frequency.
The symptoms include severe retching and nausea whenever
the words “Tax cuts”,” Middle Class”, “debt”,
“jobs”,” economy”, and especially “Mitt Romney”,” Barack Obama”, and “I approve this message” are heard. The CDC is still mystified as to how the repetition
of these seemingly innocuous words could cause such severe symptoms of nausea.
To date they do not have a vaccine or cure, but have advised people especially
in affected areas not to watch TV or listen to the radio since these seem to
bring on the attacks.
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