Satirical News Service
New York, NY
New York, NY
Shares of Coal Futures soared today amid reports of
a huge order by Santa Claus Industries. Their CEO, Kris Kringle, confirmed the
order saying our demand for coal this Xmas is going thru the roof. The number
of naughty keeps growing, and there is worry that there will be insufficient
coal available to put in their stockings. Most of the coal will be sent to the
Washington Beltway region where the naughty top the list, mostly from people
high up in government offices. "Perhaps THIS is how Trump is going to bring back
the coal industry to America", said one spokesperson.
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