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FAKE NEWS (just seems like it could be true)

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Gun Ownership Conclusively linked to Male Impotence and Penile Necrosis


Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

The CDC announced today startling new findings that conclusively link handling of guns to a very severe form of male impotence and penile necrosis.  In this form of impotence, Viagra and Cialis are completely ineffective. As exposure to guns increases, “the pecker literally withers up and falls off”.  It appears to be something in the makeup of the gun metal that causes a chemical reaction with male testosterone. The more powerful and bigger the gun, the greater the risk. Gun owners are urged to immediately dispose of their firearms, or at minimum avoid any contact with them. The military and police forces who must carry firearms will be issued special gloves to prevent exposure. Since these gloves are not covered under the Second Amendment Rights, they are only available to Armed Forces and Licensed Police Officers. Anyone else in possession of them can be faced with fines or imprisonment.

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