Satirical News Service
Washington, DC
Washington, DC
Acting under the
authority of the Consumer Protection Act,
President Obama, in his first executive order of his new term of President, has
ordered the following changes to the design of assault rifles. Taking literally
from the NRA recommendations to “let a shooter
shoot the shooter”, the President has mandated the following design changes
to be made to all assault rifles.
In his press conference
statement, the President said “In the
interest of promoting better gun safety, and since it is not always possible to
know who is the bad guy or who is the good guy, we feel that mandating certain design
changes specifically to assault rifles will go a long way toward solving this
problem without violating Gun Owners’ Second Amendment Rights.”
All gun
owners possessing assault rifles must make these modifications within 30 days
or face arrest, and all assault style weapons manufactured from this day forward
must incorporate the above design change.
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